Captain Skybastard and the Sphinx Diamond
Lend me your ear and I’ll tell you a tale,
Of a daring pirate cap’n with the wind in his sail.
He was out be-yond the mighty River Black,
Chased through the jungle just tryin’ to get back.
A thousand Pict savages were right on his heels,
The Gods wouldn't listen to any appeals.
He rallied what remained of his crew which were few,
A eunuch, a killer, and a young rogue that was new.
They ran and they ran for all they were worth,
Just trying to get back to some more friend-ly turf.
They'd stop and they'd rest, but never for long.
The drums of the Pict made a disheartening song.
The crew were exhausted but in their captain did they trust,
He said that they'd stand and fight if they must.
With a wry smile and a wink, a plan did he think.
They'd set up an ambush and have a good drink.
As they sat 'round the fire hearin' the drums,
The young lad a fine tune he started to hum.
He pulled out a lute and he plucked at the strings
'Fore long the others started to sing…
Skybastard, Skybastard, the pirate most feared.
The bane of the skies who at danger just sneered.
Skybastard, Skybastard, the sly cunning fox,
Sent many a man to crash on the rocks.
Skybastard, Skybastard, will never get caught,
If you think that you're smarter, you're obviously not.
Skybastard, Skybastard, his legend abounds,
Run for your lives when the warning bell sounds.
Skybastard, Skybastard, we'll kill for you now,
To no king or no queen will ever he bow.
Ya-da-hey! Ya-da-hey! Ya-da-hey-hey-hey!
Ya-da-hey! Ya-da-hey! Ya-da-ha-ha-ha!
The savages were swift and the drums they were loud,
But our daring pirate captain, with his bow stood proud.
The wolves were snarling so very close by,
But into the fire, one of his arrows did fly.
Enchanted with magic, smoke arose in a cloud,
The captain jumped out with his bow held proud.
Such a frightening and terrible visage to see,
Caused the savages to stop and turn to flee.
The wolves snarled and circled round and round,
Standing tall with his bow as more drums did sound.
He shot each one dead with an arrow to their head.
Some tell of one shot that dropped two it is said.
Through the jungle to a small hill, his crew ran
While he covered their backs and developed a plan.
They'd hold the hill and make their stand,
There was no getting out of that curs-ed land.
Upon their drums did the savages bang,
To bolster morale, the cap'n sang…
Skybastard, Skybastard, the pirate most feared.
The bane of the skies who at danger just sneered.
Skybastard, Skybastard, the sly cunning fox,
Sent many a man to crash on the rocks.
Skybastard, Skybastard, will never get caught,
If you think that you're smarter, you're obviously not.
Skybastard, Skybastard, his legend abounds,
Run for your lives when the warning bell sounds.
Skybastard, Skybastard, we'll kill for you now,
To no king or no queen will ever he bow.
Ya-da-hey! Ya-da-hey! Ya-da-hey-hey-hey!
Ya-da-hey! Ya-da-hey! Ya-da-ha-ha-ha!
He topped the hill and saw quite a scary sight,
Too many Pict warriors, even more than he could fight.
Circled they did, but they dare not approach
A thousand warriors afraid of his reproach.
On that lonely hilltop, the crew wasn't alone.
A mystical scholar was there examining old bones.
He stood by a hole and he offered his aid,
Said he could sneak 'em out if only they paid.
How much coin do you want, the bold cap'n asked.
Neither coin nor gems, just a quick, simple task.
Go into the tomb with your impressive blade,
And bring back the bones within that are laid.
So into the hole our brave cap'n descended
The crew sang out while he on the rope he suspended…
Skybastard, Skybastard, the pirate most feared.
The bane of the skies who at danger just sneered.
Skybastard, Skybastard, the sly cunning fox,
Sent many a man to crash on the rocks.
Skybastard, Skybastard, will never get caught,
If you think that you're smarter, you're obviously not.
Skybastard, Skybastard, his legend abounds,
Run for your lives when the warning bell sounds.
Skybastard, Skybastard, we'll kill for you now,
To no king or no queen will ever he bow.
Ya-da-hey! Ya-da-hey! Ya-da-hey-hey-hey!
Ya-da-hey! Ya-da-hey! Ya-da-ha-ha-ha!
Soon all were gathered in a dusty old tomb,
With two gems that sparkled even through the dark gloom.
One was held by a sphinx, the other a snake,
Diamonds are best, so that's what he'd take.
No sooner done, than the beast did stir,
No stranger to magic, he wouldn't deter.
He pulled back an arrow glowing with power,
The beast tried to run, but it had nowhere to cower.
When their vision returned, the crew was amazed,
Inside the diamond the sphinx sat fazed.
If you look very close, your eyes'll go wide,
For there is the sphinx with the arrow in its side.
The crew let out a cheer as they jumped in the air,
In song they broke not caring who they'd provoke…
Skybastard, Skybastard, the pirate most feared.
The bane of the skies who at danger just sneered.
Skybastard, Skybastard, the sly cunning fox,
Sent many a man to crash on the rocks.
Skybastard, Skybastard, will never get caught,
If you think that you're smarter, you're obviously not.
Skybastard, Skybastard, his legend abounds,
Run for your lives when the warning bell sounds.
Skybastard, Skybastard, we'll kill for you now,
To no king or no queen will ever he bow.
Ya-da-hey! Ya-da-hey! Ya-da-hey-hey-hey!
Ya-da-hey! Ya-da-hey! Ya-da-ha-ha-ha!
Working their way down hallways most dusty,
They found a room glowing warm and not musty.
Inside the room, a huge feast was spread,
Inviting them in, was a beauty in the bed.
She was scantily clad in fine silks and jewels,
Most of the crew were seduced into fools.
But our cap'n, although handsome, as any would swear,
Wouldn't be tempted by the vixen's flowing hair.
He suspected foul play and wouldn't be tricked,
Although he was the one she obviously picked.
She pleaded and she schemed to trap him there,
For she was an ancient sorceress and he wouldn't be spared.
Dropping all guise, she used her arcane might,
To summon two giant warriors into the fight.
The eunuch was down, the thief was sorely pressed,
The killer was wounded with a spear in his chest.
The sorceress called forth dark powers most foul,
Our captain just looked at her with a sneer and a scowl.
She shrieked as she struck, but our cap'n was quicker,
Upset that she missed, she never saw him stick her.
She looked down and saw his bloody dagger in hand,
Confusion on her face, she couldn't understand.
Killed by a mortal, a scoundrel and his gang.
She asked for his name and in reply his crew sang…
Skybastard, Skybastard, the pirate most feared.
The bane of the skies who at danger just sneered.
Skybastard, Skybastard, the sly cunning fox,
Sent many a man to crash on the rocks.
Skybastard, Skybastard, will never get caught,
If you think that you're smarter, you're obviously not.
Skybastard, Skybastard, his legend abounds,
Run for your lives when the warning bell sounds.
Skybastard, Skybastard, we'll kill for you now,
To no king or no queen will ever he bow.
Ya-da-hey! Ya-da-hey! Ya-da-hey-hey-hey!
Ya-da-hey! Ya-da-hey! Ya-da-ha-ha-ha!
They finished the guards and climbed out of the tomb,
The Pict hadn't come closer giving the hallowed ground room.
The scholar kept true to the promise he swore,
He smeared a potion on all that they wore.
Through the enemy camp they walked like a ghost,
Not making a sound as they made for the coast.
They burst from the jungle and he saw his ship there,
Away from the savages, they sailed through the air.
He never lost faith or gave up his hope,
He just looked at that hill through his shiny brass scope.
I wasn't there, so I cannot attest,
But some say he bid the sorceress a long deserved rest.
Skybastard, Skybastard, the pirate most feared.
The bane of the skies who at danger just sneered.
Skybastard, Skybastard, the sly cunning fox,
Sent many a man to crash on the rocks.
Skybastard, Skybastard, will never get caught,
If you think that you're smarter, you're obviously not.
Skybastard, Skybastard, his legend abounds,
Run for your lives when the warning bell sounds.
Skybastard, Skybastard, we'll kill for you now,
To no king or no queen will ever he bow.
Ya-da-hey! Ya-da-hey! Ya-da-hey-hey-hey!
Ya-da-hey! Ya-da-hey! Ya-da-ha-ha-ha!
